Itchy

Kelle Hampton describes it best (as always):

“I felt emotionally itchy yesterday afternoon--a ball of boredom, edginess and discontentment slowly growing until it seemed nothing was right. I noticed everything--the split ends on my hair, the balled-up lint on the rug I just vacuumed, the fact that the chipped dishes in our plate collection now outweighed the intact ones. I hadn't reviewed sight words with Lainey as much as I wanted to this summer, and there are a slew of creative projects in my brain that I haven't made efforts to unleash.”

Emotionally itchy. Yes, that’s it. I’ve had some really great moments lately—and a few down moments. Back and forth like a pendulum.

Mostly, I just want a new me. I’ve ordered one for the new school year and can’t wait to meet her. [wry grin] She is self-disciplined and diligent. Cheerful and inspiring. She sticks to routines. Loves to cook healthy meals. Is a master potty-trainer. Exercises. Says ‘no’ to Dr. Pepper. Keeps the house beautiful, clean, organized. Reads mind- and heart-enlarging books.

This me? Goes on a Dr. Pepper and Katie Fforde bender. [don’t judge]

The thing is, I’ve been here before. And I’ve been able to get myself all psyched up for a new school year. Convinced myself how well I would be able to meet all the new expectations I set for myself.

But I don’t believe myself this year. [sigh]

But it will be okay. I’m not that low. Just itchy.

But I could really use a few extraordinarily productive days. Starting right now.

Enough ‘buts.’ I’m getting down to business. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Until then, maybe you would enjoy reading ‘On releasing perfection’ and ‘Behold, the power of cropping’ by Rachel Wolf. I sure did.

P.S. Every day, every single minute, I thank God for giving me Lola. She is a joy beyond what I could have ever expected. She is silly, and fun, and crazy, and smart, and affectionate, and hilarious, and darling. She absolutely lights up this world of mine.

The other day she was lying back on the grass. She put her hands behind her head and sighed, “Dis is life.” Which would have been so fantastic all by itself, even if she hadn’t paused slightly before adding “…Life of Fred.”