The speed of time takes my breath away. Another day. Another week. Another month. Another year.
It feels ridiculous to document the hangnails of my days when I’m knee-deep in the passing hours. And yet, to look back, oh! it seems so foreign and familiar all at the same time. Was I really present? (Did she seriously sleep that much? Saving up for toddlerhood, no doubt about it!) Soon I will find hair-cutting, mischief-making, attention-demanding quite sentimental. Some day. I’m sure of it.
I spent Monday in court, supporting a friend and her family with about one hundred and fifty other supportive souls. My heart breaks for the tragic situation in which my friend finds herself. Sometimes the price paid simply isn’t fair. And it steals years of a life. Of a family.
I came home that evening and God gave me Black Threads by Ming-Wai Ng at Story Warren:
“My name is Ming and I am made of threads, threads of story, threads of pain. Before I was even born, thin filaments of loss, pain, joy, heartache, love, laughter, battles, and failure were being stitched into my being. Before I took my first breath, there were dark wispy fragments of pain being woven into the core of who I am. They are there now; from the soles of my feet to the crown of my head, and without those threads, I would not exist.”
How does the quotidian, the mundane, influence my story? Should it have weight? Particularly considering the platter of perspective lately served? I don’t know. Maybe large swaths will later be deemed inconsequential. Maybe a word here, or a word there, will be meaningful to someone else, regardless of my awareness of it. Maybe these words will speak to me a year from now. Or ten.
Or possibly it is my way of being here. Present. Paying attention to what fills my days. Aware of the price paid with life hours.
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Present and Accounted For
This is week four of my 40 Days of SPS challenge. I’ve been up by 6:30ish every weekday except one. I was out late with my ChocLit Guild (book club) ladies the night before. Lola was up quite a bit of the night with stomach pains. I must have turned off my alarm in my sleep, because I didn’t wake up until 7:30ish…and then it was a slow morning. But, seriously?! That is 16 mornings that I’ve seen the six o’clock hour in the past few weeks. Success.
I haven’t been filling out my SPS pages this week, though. I could write in the same thing each day. To do: lessons and housework. If I could live today over again: have grace for my children.
Honestly, the boys have needed me to be on top of them every single second of the day or chaos reigns. Lola is a walking tornado in and of herself. She cut her hair again tonight. Sigh. I’m running out of consequences for everyone. And I’m having trouble balancing grace and discipline. I certainly would not have won any parenting awards this evening.
I read this article which reiterates what Don Miller has listed on the SPS:
:: Resolve To Do It Right (this time) by Noel Green
“The New Year is upon us again people are making resolutions hoping to eat less, exercise more, and generally be a better version of themselves. Very few people will make it through the year with their resolution in tact — in fact one statistic suggest 25% don’t make it the first week. What if I were to tell you the best way to succeed in keeping resolutions is to simply time travel back and live it again?”
Apparently I need more than two chances in the parenting department.
This is week three of my 40 Days of (Good) Food challenge. I planned to have dessert at book club last Thursday, and wouldn’t you know it? My friend brought chocolate zucchini bread—made with homegrown zucchini, almond flour, and local honey! (I have the BEST book club, evah!!) So I was doing well until day 14 and 15. Both days we were out unexpectedly over a meal time. It is a good thing I planned a few off days (but I didn’t drink Dr. Pepper!). I figure 30 out of 40 would be a success, and I’m back on track today.
This is week two of my 40 Days of Geography challenge. I’ve got the basics down for North, Central, and South America. I worked hard on the Caribbean this week, and I think I’ve got it (wow, there are a lot of islands!). I have the European countries, geographical regions, rivers, lakes, seas, and oceans. I’ve mastered the basic level for all of Asia and the Middle East. Now I have Africa and Oceania. Eek! Those are both very intimidating for me!
I didn’t add another challenge this week. I spent Monday at court. We drove to Salem Monday evening to check out a truck for sale (and had dinner out as a family). Several hours today were spent at the bank and running errands. But I have this to show for it. My Valentine’s Day-18th Anniversary-40th Birthday-Mother’s Day-(Fourth of July…) gift:
We bought our previous Suburban used ten years ago, and have run it into the ground. It has needed a new transmission for a year and a half (we’ve been driving it with no second gear). Russ has spent hours and hours recently fixing other things that have gone wrong. And it needs new tires. The transmission and tires would cost more than the truck is worth. Sigh. (Having four kids has been a bit of a challenge every time the truck would break down. We can’t all fit into Russ’s car.)
And we’re heading out on a mini family vacation on Thursday. I cannot tell you how badly we need this. Our last “vacation” was a year ago, and, well, I don’t think that even qualifies.
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Creative Inspiration
:: Ransom Note Poetry by my friend Danielle at Further Up and Further In. How fun is that?! This is definitely going on my “to-create” list for next week.
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1 comment:
Your map looks wonderful!
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