Limits and Liberty ~ Chapter Three: You Cannot Have It All and Having It All Doesn’t Equal Happiness

Today’s contemplation of libery and limits is a long one. If you haven’t read the previous posts, you may want to start here and then read chapter two.

Quite some time ago, I read The New Midlife Crisis at Oprah.com. It’s long. And relevant.

Let me sum it up for you.

We (women in particular) have been sold a lie:

“You can have it all, and having it all will make you happy.”

At some point after that lie began, the ugly truth hit us.

“You are obligated to have it all, and you will be judged accordingly. You will always fall short.”

You must do it all, be it all, have it all, know it all. Everything is available to you so no excuses.

Options became obligations became oppression, and now we’re coming undone under the weight of it all.

You have 20 local gyms. You have countless excercise programs on countless platforms to stream to your television. Heck, stream them on your i-whatever, so you never have an excuse. Any time. Any place. Any weather. You must always be thin and sculpted.

You have a gazillion anti-aging products and procedures to choose from. You are expected not to age.

You have a gazillion beauty products to choose from, and a salon around every corner. You should look like you just stepped out of one.

Bronzed skin in February? Check. Precisely straight, unnaturally glow-in-the-dark white teeth? Required.

You can have any career you wish. It had better be impressive.

All the stuff? All the activities and vactions? That’s what credit cards, loans, and mortgages are for. No excuses.

Maybe, just maybe, we can shrug off the expectations. We can make a different choice for ourselves, self-limit, despite real or perceived judgment. But add kids to the equation? Mothers, in many cases, take a lion’s share of the child-raising obligations on their shoulders. Can we handle the judgment of others (including our kids) when we don’t provide or facilitate every possible opportunity for our children?

Speaking of children… No one has an excuse not to have children. And no one has an excuse to have more than two. Boy and girl, preferrably. Hair combed. Clothes clean. Top of their class. Leader of the team. All the activities. Best schools.

And, by golly, now that you have everything, you should be happy. Because we all know that independence, money, beauty, things, and success bring happiness, right?

A little over a month ago, I randomly stumbled on this raw-honest article written by Stacy London of What Not To Wear fame.

It’s worth reading, but I’ll sum it up for you.

Independence, money, beauty, things, and success don’t bring happiness.

Days before I read that article, Joshua Gibbs posted the following on Facebook:

"Money cannot buy happiness, but it can buy unhappiness."

One day prior, also on Facebook, a friend posted quotes from Homo Deus by Yuval Noah Harari.

“In 2012 about 56 million people died throughout the world; 620,000 of them died due to human violence. In contrast, 800,000 committed suicide, and 1.5 million died of diabetes. Sugar is now more dangerous than gunpowder."

"For all humanity’s astounding accomplishments in reducing the worst sufferings, our happiness levels really haven’t changed. Actually suicide is a greater problem, especially in developed countries."

I immediately grabbed Homo Deus at the library, and I’m riveted. For all of human history, we have battled three dominant problems: famine, plague, and war. Harari makes the case that we humans, in just the past few decades and for the first time in history, have transformed these “uncontrollable forces of nature into manageable challenges.” Now that human striving has conquered these dominant problems, we have a new agenda which includes immortality and happiness.

On immortality:

“In truth they will actually be a-mortal, rather than immortal… So as long as no bomb shreds them to pieces or no truck runs them over, they could go on living indefinitely. Which will probably make them the most anxious people in history. We mortals daily take chances with our lives because we know they are going to end anyhow. So we go on treks in the Himalayas, swim in the sea, and do many other dangerous things like crossing the street or eating out. But if you believe you can live forever, you would be crazy to gamble on infinity like that.”

On happiness:

“On the psychological level, happiness depends on expectations rather than objective conditions. We don’t become satisfied by leading a peaceful and prosperous existence. Rather, we become satisfied when reality matches our expectations. The bad news is that as conditions improve, expectations balloon. Dramatic improvements in conditions, as humankind has experienced in recent decades, translate into greater expectations rather than greater contentment. If we don’t do something about this, our future achievements too might leave us as dissatisfied as ever.”

Anxious and dissatisfied. Not progress.

I’m only about 50 pages in, and the book is littered with sticky tabs. I’m curious to read his conclusions. I may have to purchase this one so I can highlight and underline to my heart’s content.

Then another friend (on FB) posted a quote from Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig.

“The world is increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isn’t very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell and antiaging moisturizer? You make someone worry about aging. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind.

“To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act. To be happy with your own nonupgraded existence. To be comfortable with our messy, human selves, would not be good for business.”

I immediately purchased (ha!) Matt Haig’s book. It’s an overwhelmingly helpful and, in the end, hopeful book about depression and anxiety from someone experienced with both.

Just today, yet another friend posted this jaw-dropping article: “Torches of Freedom”: The Anti-Literature of Advertising at Front Porch Republic.

“The object is to associate the sandwich with “freedom.” The technique is always the same: associate some salable commodity with some ineffable quality, preferably something deeply felt and visceral: love, peace, attractiveness, status. We cannot purchase freedom by the pound, but we can purchase sandwiches and cigarettes, and if the one can be associated with the other in our minds, it is not necessary to discuss the advantages of the product. After all, you can choose your own vegetables and select one of a dozen pre-packaged dressings. What more could freedom want?”

What more could freedom want? Exactly. All those choices and we think they bring happiness.

“This “new man” created by consumer culture can have anything he wants, except happiness; he must always be wanting and never be content, because contentment would be the death of consumerism. He must always seek his happiness in things rather than in persons, and then seek it again in some other thing; but he must never be allowed to become content; contentment would destroy the consumer culture...”

What’s to be done?

“Teachers of literature must train their students to apply the same techniques of literary criticism they learn in reading literature to their reading of anti-literature… “

[Go read the rest of the article!]

I have a few ideas that I’ll be sharing in later posts, but I’ll share two counter-cultural links.

:: Just as I Am: Accepting Our Limitations by Jennifer Hesse (Jenn is a friend of mine and she posted this as a response to the Oprah article.)

“Whereas human nature constrains our time, energy, and strength, God by his nature is eternal, infinite, and all-powerful.”

:: The Economy of Kindness at Rabbit Room

"The Kingdom of Christ and its economy of grace run deeper. When we offer the token of kindness to others, especially when they expect an exchange of money, we let them know that they have verged upon another land. Here, their money can buy nothing, but if they offer their need, they can dine on the richest of fare."

Limits and Liberty ~ Chapter Two: The Golden Mean (of Virtue)

[Read Chapter One here.]

“It is better to rise from life as from a banquet -
neither thirsty nor drunken.” 

~Aristotle

I’ve started doing yoga. What I’ve learned is what looks so very easy can be so very difficult.

Even when I’m not moving (especially when I’m not supposed to be moving).

It’s the balancing that gets me. It takes so much muscle control to remain still. I have constant checks (small and large) in one direction and then then other. Sometimes I completely lose any semblance of form and have to begin again.

Let’s return to our pendulum from chapter one. It feels great, at first, to swing from a place of oppression to a place of freedom, but some of us may have discovered that the swing away from tyranny brings us to a different form of slavery on the other extreme. Slavery to an over-loaded schedule, closet, or body, for example.

Seneca, the famous Stoic, wrote, “So-called pleasures, when they go beyond a certain limit, are but punishments…”

The solution seems so easy: just shed a few activities, pairs of shoes, or pounds.

But it takes an extraordinary amount of muscle control (and willingness to live in tension) to find that place of equilibrium and remain there. It’s a constant effort of self-imposed limits, and we’re easily tired by constant effort.

We make decisions. We second-guess ourselves. We give in to pleasure or convenience. We punish ourselves.

Aristotle, writing about ethics, examined moral behavior according to the “golden mean of virtue.” He argued that virtuous living is a balance within a sliding scale of deficiency and excess (the extremes). The deficiency and excess are both vices, and the golden mean is virtue.

“For both excessive and insufficient exercise destroy one’s strength, and both eating and drinking too much or too little destroy health, whereas the right quantity produces, increases or preserves it. So it is the same with temperance, courage and the other virtues… This much then, is clear: in all our conduct it is the mean that is to be commended.” [Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics]

True liberty is liberty from excess.

True liberty is liberty to choose virtue.

Not cowardice or recklessness, but courage.
Not stinginess or extravagance, but generosity.
Not sloth or greed, but ambition.
Not bashfulness or flamboyance, but modesty.
Not apathy or aggression, but patience.
Not indecisiveness or impulsiveness, but self-control.
Not starvation or gluttony, but sufficiency.
Not cacophony or monotony, but harmony.
Not tyranny or anarchy, but freedom.
Not laziness or obsessiveness, but perseverance.
Not uniformity or eccentricity, but individuality.
Not false-modesty or boastfulness, but truthfulness.
Not chaos or reginmentation, but order.
Not self-deprecation or vanity, but confidence.
Not quarrelsomeness or flattery, but friendliness.
Not moroseness or absurdity, but good humor.

In our culture’s quest for freedom, we think in terms of “freedom from” rather than “freedom to.” We want freedom from limits (seeking pleasure and happiness) instead of the freedom to do what we ought (seeking virtue and character).

“Freedom consists not in doing what we like, but in having the right to do what we ought.” - Pope John Paul II

Do I have a handle on this in my own life? Absolutely not. I’m just a shaky tree pose over here. You’ll hear me chanting “I am, I can, I ought, I will,” as I wobble, fall, and start again.

In upcoming posts, I’ll be sharing how the “golden mean” applies to various areas in my life.

:: Charlotte Mason’s Students Motto @ Ambleside Online

“I am, I can, I ought, I will.”

:: Stratford Caldecott, Beauty in the Word

We imagine that the more choices we have, the freer we are. In reality, a multitude of choices makes us no freer than we were before unless we have the freedom (that is, the power, the ability) to choose between the right action and the wrong action... A myriad of evil choices is no choice at all.

:: Letter 39: On Noble Aspirations ~Seneca, Letters from a Stoic

Utility measures our needs; but by what standard can you check the superfluous?

It is for this reason that men sink themselves in pleasures, and they cannot do without them when once they have become accustomed to them, and for this reason they are most wretched, because they have reached such a pass that what was once superfluous to them has become indispensable.

And so they are the slaves of their pleasures instead of enjoying them; they even love their own ills, - and that is the worst ill of all! Then it is that the height of unhappiness is reached, when men are not only attracted, but even pleased, by shameful things, and when there is no longer any room for a cure, now that those things which once were vices have become habits.

:: The Virtuous Life: Moderation @ The Art of Manliness

This is certainly the answer society gives us for our restlessness, our boredom, our anxiousness, and unhappiness. The answer is always MORE. More stimulation. More sex, more movies, more music, more drinking, more money, more freedom, more food. More of anything is sold as the cure for everything. Yet paradoxically, the more stimulation we receive, the less joy and enjoyment we get out of it. The key to experiencing greater fulfillment and pleasure is actually moderation.

:: The Stoic Range of Virtue: In Defense of Moderation @ The Daily Stoic

As a society we pride ourselves on extremes. We flaunt how few hours of sleep we maintain, how insatiable we are in our careers, and how comfortable our lives are thanks to an excess of luxury goods. But the problem is that when we aspire to extremes, we also run the risk of taking our virtues too far, which collapse into their opposite-crippling flaws in character.

Oppression, Freedom, and the Toothpaste Aisle

Eleven years ago I began blogging. Eleven years ago I was in the early stages of parenting (my boys were 5, 2, and 8 months). Eleven years ago we moved into our little “forever home.” Eleven years ago we began our homeschooling adventure.

I had plans. I had big plans.

I had it all figured out.

My dreams, if I admitted them, were ambitious. On paper (and in blog posts), a decade ahead was the decade when it all came together. I would be experienced. I would be successful. My kids, oh, they would be amazing. All my passions would have become honed talents. Photography, interior design, parenting, homeschooling, reading, blogging, writing and speaking—expert level, right?!

Maybe you have noticed how quiet the blog has been for a year, or two or three.

Turns out, I don’t have it all figured out. The further into this life gig I get, the less I know and the less I feel qualified to share what I think I still know. Not only do I know less, but I do less.

I have a gazillion blog posts started. One of three things always happens:

1. I’m too lazy or distracted to finish it.

2. My perfectionist side can’t get it up to snuff.

3. I realize I am in no place to give any sort of advice or encouragement. About anything.

But a web, of sorts, has been forming in my mind and in my heart over the past six months. I’ve resisted writing a blog post because this web is woven of many different topics (the golden mean of virtue, politics, health, freedom vs liberty, minimalism vs hoarding, self-care vs self-limits, slothfulness vs leisure, independence vs community, depression, stoicism, Charlotte Mason). There are few topics the web doesn’t touch, and my thoughts are not linear. My perfectionism wants them organized in three winsome persuasive parallel points. With alliteration.

Of course, I also want these ideas to have transformed my life so I can share my successful experience. And I can be an expert.

Truth is, I’m wrestling with these ideas and preaching to myself. You can join me if you like. Wrestle with me. Discuss with me. Share with me your thoughts and experiences.

I have to take this in bite-sized pieces, so I’ll give you the short version if you’re the type of person who reads the last page of the book before starting the first chapter.

Short Version

Unbridled freedom is not freedom.

Options become obligations become oppression.

We can mitigate the damage in two ways:

• By limiting ourselves.
• By loving our neighbor.

The cruicible in which these actions are practiced is FAMILY.

Chapter One (of the Long Version)

I’ve been thinking about the sliding scale (or pendulum swing) between the oppressive lack of freedom and choices that much of humanity has had in other times or other cultures and the unbridled freedom and abundance of our own age.

For so many people throughout history, the occupation of their hours was fixed, their diet was fixed, their relationships were fixed, their knowledge was fixed, their cultural traditions and village of residence was fixed, their housing, clothing, number of children, personal hygiene, careers, creative outlets were fixed. So little freedom. So few choices.

But in this culture in this age?

We have a rapacious appetite for freedoms and choices. We resist all external limits.

You cannot tell me what I should or should not, may not have. You cannot tell me what I should or should not, may not do.

I have the freedom and ability to purchase 100 different items for personal hygiene. When I run out of one of these, let’s say toothpaste, I am faced with a string of decisions/judgments.

When shall I go to the store to buy more? Is it in the budget, or shall I go into debt? Which of the 20 nearby stores shall I visit? (This in itself requires a long string of judgments including distance, convenience, selection, thriftiness, and business ethics.) On the dental hygiene aisle (loaded with countless types of tools and potions just for teeth), I have 40 different toothpastes to choose from. Which is safest? Which is most effective for the purpose I wish it to fulfill? Which is the most economical? Which is healthy? Which is tastiest? Which packaging is attractive? Which one impacts the environment the least? Which company is most ethical? The list goes on. Do I buy just one, or do I stock up? What fits in my budget? What fits in my space? Will that save me time, energy, or money? Do I buy other items at the store while I’m there? Shall I pay with cash, check, or credit card? Which of the 10 credit cards in my wallet shall I use? Is the transaction safe?

We are so conditioned to face these endless strings of judgments and choices every single moment of every day that we hardly notice them.

But do we know what toll they take on us, emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually?

Is it healthy to demand no limits to our choices? Decisions that fatigue or paralyze us. Closets and counters overflowing with stuff that clutters our life. Excess or harmful food that weighs us down and cripples our bodies, minds, and emotions. Relationships that break us. Debt that burdens. Immoral or unethical actions or thoughts that destroy us spiritually.

Or is it possible to self-limit in a healthy way that brings us to the center of the pendulum swing, to a place of equilibrium, a golden mean?

In order not to be damaged by unlimited freedom and choices, I must have the self-discipline to set my own limits.

That is difficult in a culture in which choices are a right, almost an obligation. It is difficult in a culture of excess and permissiveness to find the self-discipline to deny ourselves any pleasure, convenience, desire, privilege, or entitlement. Especially when these limits seem (or are) arbitrary.

What if I choose to reject my 465 health care options? What if I wear the same items of clothing every day? What if I haven’t changed my hair style in 20 years? What if I choose to eliminate electronics from my life? What if I choose not to take a promotion? What if I choose to eat the same meal for dinner every evening?

*

I have been contemplating the idea of freedom and self-limits and finding that it is applicable in myriad arenas of life. I am hoping to share how this concept illuminates specific topics in future blog posts. Let’s see if I can write chapter two…

Sole Hope

I recently joined a large group of women who met to fellowship and cut shoe patterns from discarded pairs of jeans.

Sole Hope offers us a wonderful opportunity to help improve the health and lives of impoverished children in Uganda as well as provide women in Uganda with meaningful work for a decent wage. Learn more at the link or watch the (difficult and somewhat graphic) video below.

The Best and Most Precious Things

 

“We get robbed of the glory of life because we aren't capable of remembering how we got here. When you are born, you wake slowly to everything... What I'm saying is I think life is staggering and we're just used to it. We are like spoiled children no longer impressed with the gifts we're given--it's just another sunset, just another rainstorm moving in over the mountain, just another child being born, just another funeral."
~Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

"Nearly all the best and most precious things in the universe you can get for a halfpenny. I make an exception, of course, of the sun, the moon, the earth, people, stars, thunderstorms, and such trifles. You can get them for nothing." ~G. K. Chesterton, "The Shop of Ghosts"

"If I were called upon to state in a few words the essence of everything I was trying to say both as a novelist and as a preacher, it would be something like this: Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace." ~Frederick Buechner

20 Things To Do When You Feel Powerless

1. Love God.

2. Love your neighbor.

3. Listen to your neighbor. Listen to understand, not to reply.

4. When you speak to your neighbor, speak in love. Speak truth. Speak to delight. Speak to encourage. Speak to serve.

5. Serve.

6. Forgive.

7. Learn something new.

8. Create. Play music. Draw. Paint. Garden.

9. Make the world a more beautiful place.

10. Invite someone to join you.

11. Read a book that will enlarge your heart and imagination and place you in another person’s shoes.

12. Teach.

13. Practice integrity. Practice it more. Even when no one is looking. Especially when no one is looking.

14. Share your home.

15. Overcome a challenge.

16. Don’t lie. Even when you don’t think you’ll get caught.

17. Smile at your children. Smile at strangers.

18. Help a stranger.

19. Tell good stories.

20. Be filled with gratitude for this astounding gift called life.

Imperfect

My sister messaged me Tuesday morning:

“The difference between [one’s] ideal (imagination) and reality is sometimes shocking.”

Truth.

I asked her what prompted that observation at this particular moment in time.

She sent me a picture of her Advent time with her young daughter. The baby was screaming, and her 2 year old covered a whole page (and part of the room) with glue, cut the other paper into tiny scraps, and sang “I’ve been workin’ on the railroad” while my sister tried to read Isaiah. The sink was full of dirty dishes and her daughter was wearing the only jammies she will consent to wear: random pink velour leggings and a blue oversized FOX racing t-shirt with the previous night’s candy cane in her matted hair.

I told her she needed to blog. The event would become a hilarious, endearing moment to which others can relate and upon which she can look back with rose-colored glasses and forget exactly how she felt at the time.

But some things aren’t funny, no matter how you tell the story. Some things are someone else’s story to tell (or not). And some things are too private to share.

And even if you can write a funny story, sleep-deprivation (and utter exhaustion), an extremely needy infant, sicknesses, defiant toddler, and all the other worries heaped on one’s plate are no joke when you are present, in that very moment.

I was in that season just a few short years ago, and well I remember. It was so little like I had imagined. So little like my ideal.

And this season that I’m in now? Still so little like I had imagined, so little like my ideal.

Our children are human. We are human. And life is just plain difficult so much of the time.

Friends, this time of the year, it’s a time when our expectations and imagination can be so wildly different from the reality. We have our own expectations according to our personal desires (a clean house, a beautifully decorated clean house, charming crafts, heart-warming Christmas events, handmade gifts, peaceful and obedient children) that may not match the desires or expectations of those around us. We also have our perceived cultural expectations as we see the glimpses and details that others seem to pull off effortlessly.

I can tell you that we had a delightful morning symposium yesterday morning. We sang Adeste, Fideles with the Lingua Angelica CD and Songbook, we read our Handel’s Messiah Family Advent Reader, we listened to Adam Andrew’s first installment of A Christmas Carol while following along in our lovely illustrated edition, and we began to memorize a Christmas poem by George MacDonald. And then we listened to classical Christmas music for the rest of the day.

What you don’t know is that we did no other school work the whole day. That was it.

What you can’t hear is the blow up I had with one of my sons. It was ugly. I was ugly.

What you can’t see is how disgusting my whole house is. Every room. I cannot manage to keep a single small area clean and beautiful for more than 5 minutes at a time (and certainly not more than one small area at a time, and only the 5 minutes after I clean it).

Yesterday, I told my children that I wanted to spend some time cleaning up so that we could enjoy the atmosphere. I cleaned off our little kitchen table (the only decent-sized flat surface in the house other than my bed) and moved on to another spot. The next time I glanced at my kitchen table it was covered, edge to edge, with construction paper, scissors, glue, tape, ribbon, and assorted other items. My son wanted to make Christmas ornaments and paper chains with Lola.

Today, I was just trying to survive lunch time in the disaster (see above picture), and my son wanted to make caramels. Caramels. Candy thermometer and all. [They were incredible, by the way.]

.

I have friends who are hurting—emotionally, physically, financially, relationally, or all of the above.

I could share my own litany of faults, weaknesses, fears, shortcomings, sins.

.

I don’t have a lovely quote for you that will make it all better.

I’m not going to give you a brilliant piece of advice, a piece of rose-colored glasses advice.

But I will offer solidarity. Empathy. Grace for those of us (all of us) who don’t have it all under control.

Even if we have our house decorated (I don’t), or have our shopping completed (I don’t), or revel in wrapping and crafting (I don’t), or never leave the house in yoga pants (I do), or always speak kindly and gently to our children (ahem), or vacuum ourselves out the front door (hahahaha!), we still don’t have it all together. We are such imperfect people with imperfect lives.

.

So I just want to tell you that I see you. And it’s okay if you don’t have it all together. You are loved.

Let’s be gentle with each other, full of grace, full of kindness this Christmas season and always.

Food for Thought ~ “gravy soaks in and grace shines through”

Photo by my mom, Cheri Dunbar

 

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—in short, the period was so far like the present period…”

“I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people rising from this abyss, and, in their struggles to be truly free, in their triumphs and defeats, through long years to come, I see the evil of this time and of the previous time of which this is the natural birth, gradually making expiation for itself and wearing out.”

“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known.” ~Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

 

::

 

 

 

"To know and to serve God, of course, is why we’re here, a clear truth, that, like the nose on your face, is near at hand and easily discernible but can make you dizzy if you try to focus on it hard. But a little faith will see you through. What else will do except faith in such a cynical, corrupt time? When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word.

"What is the last word, then? Gentleness is everywhere in daily life, a sign that faith rules through ordinary things: through cooking and small talk, through storytelling, making love, fishing, tending animals and sweet corn and flowers, through sports, music and books, raising kids — all the places where the gravy soaks in and grace shines through. Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.” ~Garrison Keillor, We Are Still Married: Stories & Letters 

 

:: From an ordinary life comes extraordinary lessons by Bob Welch @ The Register-Guard [so lovely]

And here’s the lesson that was reinforced for me: In a world where influence now explodes with the power of a sound bite or the speed of a tweet, never doubt the steady impact of a well-lived, other-oriented life. Consistency over time.

“With Jesus, the kingdom of heaven is found in the ordinary,” Shriver said. “Bread and wine from the kitchen counter, fair wages for the worker, caring for your neighbor.”

 

 

 

"Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made or dark images you hold about yourself. They remember your beauty when you feel ugly; your wholeness when you are broken; your innocence when you feel guilty; and your purpose when you are confused.” ~Alan Cohen

 

 

 

:: Mom Thanks The Team Of Doctors And Emergency Responders Who Saved Her Son’s Life @ Little Things [I may have been sobbing at the end of this one.]

 

::

 

:: Are you killing yourself for nothing? by Donald Miller @ Storyline Blog [Why do we do this to ourselves? In health and exercise, in life, in homeschoolig—so many ways to apply this concept.]

The same technique can be used with all sorts of areas in our lives where we are defeating ourselves. The question is, what constitutes a satisfactory job? What do we really need to do to be a good father, a good employee, a good wife, a good teacher?

:: Hack the Facebook Algorithm for Spiritual Growth. @ Marc Alan Schleske [Not just about spiritual growth—some important ideas to consider here.]

When you were a kid, your mom probably told you that who you hang out with matters. Well, that’s still true. If you’re going to be on Facebook, you’re going to be hanging out with a lot of people and ideas. Those people and ideas are shaping who you are becoming.

:: I don’t get it. by Tresta @ Sharp Paynes

“I’m learning to expect questions I cannot answer - that’s easy; I just say that I can’t answer them. What is far more difficult is questions I would rather not answer.” ~ Madeleine L’Engle, A Circle of Quiet

So I am forever a novice and I can’t afford to be an expert in everything; but I also can’t afford to not be curious and sometimes, curious leads me down a path that just simply dead-ends.

I have to be alright with some mystery - that’s what makes God, God, and me, not God. What if we really could understand and explain and discern every curiosity, every difficult thing? With nothing left to learn, how would we spend this life?

 

::

 

:: This Is Your Brain on Exercise: Why Physical Exercise (Not Mental Games) Might Be the Best Way to Keep Your Mind Sharp @ Open Culture

Which is why we are trying to do this each day:

Because I have at least one of these children…

 

 

::

 

:: This Comedian Perfectly Captures the Way Moms Completely FREAK OUT When Company is Coming @ For Every Mom [Because laughter is the best medicine, and my kids have watched this comedy routine too many times to count—only it wasn’t quite as funny at the time.]

A Little Reality

I could just post the above picture and let you all get the impression that my house is always clean(ish) and my children are always waiting cheerfully for our new morning symposium to begin promptly at 8 am.

Or I could post pictures of the mess that I waded through in the week leading up to the above picture.

This next one is only a half-true picture. The mess got much worse before it got better. And you can’t see the entire area rug covered in stacks and stacks of books.

But if I want to make you feel really good about yourself, I could post the next picture, which is much more accurate.

Yes, that should do it.

The Union of Change and Permanence

I think the reason we (a general we) love Septembers and Januaries so well is that we crave fresh starts. That's why the changing of the seasons, the first day of a new month, and even morning can be so inviting.

I am celebrating today—September 1st: the symbolic beginning of a new year, a new season, a new month, a new day—because I am always grateful for a grace-filled fresh start.

And yet, I crave the familiar. The traditional bouquet of freshly-sharpened pencils.

My 9th year of homeschooling, our 6th year with Classical Conversations, my 42nd autumn, a mountain of months, and seemingly countless days. They are all a gift.

As C.S. Lewis brilliantly illuminates in The Screwtape Letters:

“[H]umans live in time, and experience reality successively. To experience much of it, therefore, they must experience many different things; in other words, they must experience change. And since they need change, [God] has made change pleasurable to them, just as He has made eating pleasurable. But since He does not wish them to make change, any more than eating, an end in itself, He has balanced the love of change in them by a love of permanence. He has contrived to gratify both tastes together in the very world He has made, by that union of change and permanence which we call Rhythm. He gives them the seasons, each season different yet every year the same, so that spring is always felt as a novelty yet always as the recurrence of an immemorial theme. He gives them in His Church a spiritual year; they change from a fast to a feast, but it is the same feast as before.”

 

My wish for you for on this first day of September, wherever you find yourself in life, is that you are able to find your rhythm and to celebrate the glorious union of change and permanence.

Rest

Rest.

So often it feels elusive.

Difficult to define, more difficult to realize.

In my weak human-ness, I wish for ease.

Balance.

I’ve always struggled with it. I can be honest: I’m a pendulum swinger.

Negligence? Check. Anxiety? Check.

You?

Maybe I’m not alone.

.

It was a rough month.

The indecision. The inability to control or enjoy. The little things in the way. And just plain stuff in the way.

.

But little arrows.

Here and there, pointing the way.

A blog post or two or three. A workshop. A book. A few literary quotes.

Decisions made.

A little peace. A little breathing room.

Inspiration, finally.

A little excitement.

.

Vacation.

Where one goes and her faults follow. Along with all the little (and big) quirks of humanity to whom she has given birth.

Moments of loveliness. Moments of feeling like a scrag of a tree on a weather-beaten rock.

.

But grace is a fact.

Food for Thought ~ Encouragement, Science, Imagination, and More

[Again, so much in one post. Help yourself to the buffet. Remember that you can always receive the links spread out over many courses by following my Facebook page.]

Encouragement

:: Compared to... @ Seth Godin

"Just because a thing can be noticed, or compared, or fretted over doesn't mean it's important, or even relevant. Better, I think, to decide what's important, what needs to change, what's worth accomplishing. And then ignore all comparisons that don't relate. The most important comparison, in fact, is comparing your work to what you're capable of. Sure, compare. But compare the things that matter to the journey you're on. The rest is noise."

:: I Am Not an Airplane @ Amongst Lovely Things

What if I treated my time like a budget?

What if I started our homeschool year, remembering that I’m a human person, not an airplane with the sky as the limit.

Teaching and Raising Children

:: When Success Leads to Failure: The pressure to achieve academically is a crime against learning @ The Atlantic

The truth—for this parent and so many others—is this: Her child has sacrificed her natural curiosity and love of learning at the altar of achievement, and it’s our fault. Marianna’s parents, her teachers, society at large—we are all implicated in this crime against learning. From her first day of school, we pointed her toward that altar and trained her to measure her progress by means of points, scores, and awards. We taught Marianna that her potential is tied to her intellect, and that her intellect is more important than her character. We taught her to come home proudly bearing As, championship trophies, and college acceptances, and we inadvertently taught her that we don’t really care how she obtains them. We taught her to protect her academic and extracurricular perfection at all costs and that it’s better to quit when things get challenging rather than risk marring that perfect record. Above all else, we taught her to fear failure. That fear is what has destroyed her love of learning.

:: The Difference Between Good Boys and Nice Boys in “Tom Sawyer” @ The Imaginative Conservative

"Goodness, then, demands integrity, honor, courage, and sacrifice—the manly, knightly virtues that Tom and his spirited friends practice in their boyish love of fun and adventure. The nice boys, on the other hand, do not take risks, venture beyond safe limits, or question the rules—even though some are silly and senseless. They like prizes, recognition, applause, and adulation. They do the minimum, they act their part, and they know how to curry favor. They show no life, no passion, no pluck. They act primarily on the basis of self-interest."

Science

:: 5 Reasons the Church Should Embrace Science @ Relevant

Science needs all kinds of people. The task of science is seeking truth, and truth-seeking requires we put aside some of our assumptions. Ironically, this is one of the biggest reasons some see Christians as unfit to pursue science, but in reality, people of all faiths (or no faith) all bring assumptions. We simply can’t get rid of them.

But one way to combat our assumptions is to approach problems from a variety of angles. Collaborating with others who do not share our assumptions (whether directly on a project or more generally within the field) places checks on our assumptions. In addition, having a variety of points of view approaching a problem offers additional opportunities for problem-solving and new breakthroughs.

:: A world-famous chemist tells the truth: there’s no scientist alive today who understands macroevolution @ Uncommon Descent [I spent a very long time bending my brain to the content in this article and in the comments. I understand a minute fraction more than before.]

:: The Microscopic Structures of Dried Human Tears @ Smithsonian [This is an older article, but so fascinating!]

The Brain

:: How Walking in Nature Changes the Brain @ New York Times

:: Cognitive benefits of being a musician @ Pianodao

Words

:: Harnessing the Power of Latin and Greek for Early Readers @ IMSE Journal

I love the image accompanying this article. Many of our ordinary, everyday words come from the Anglo-Saxon, but many of our intellectual, sophisticated words are Latin-based and our specialized words are often Greek-based.

“…upwards of ninety percent of our academic words in English…are derived from Latin and Greek.”

:: Ticket to Write, Part 1: A Crush on Words @ Story Warren [We are definitely going to be making word tickets!]

First, get out your scissors and sit down right in front of that stack of magazines and cut-up-able stuff. You’re going on a treasure hunt for words. Search for interesting, juicy, energetic, vivid words, cut them out, and tape or glue them to the blank side of the tickets. There are no rules about what words to include or not to include in your collection. Find words you like, words that are fun to say out loud, nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, words you don’t know that you have to look up in the dictionary, and phrases that are unusual or funny or beautiful…

:: Ticket to Write, Part 2: Painting with Words @ Story Warren

Using your markers or crayons or colored pencils, write the words you’ve gathered all over your picture. Write them in colors that fit the different parts of the photo—blues for the sky, greens and browns for the trees. Write them big or little or curvy or sideways. Be as artistic as you want.

When you’ve finished writing all of the words from your pile of word tickets, use your own imagination to add more words. Your photograph has no color, but imagine what colors the things in the photo might be, and write color words in those places. Think about all five senses and write sound words, smell words, taste words, and touch words as well as words that describe the things you see. Fill every space.

Handwriting

:: Cheating Calligraphy Tutorial @ The Postman’s Knock

 

 

Wise Imagination

"Properly taught, and learned—acquired—a liberal education awakens and keeps alive the imagination. By the imagination, I don’t mean fanciful things, but I mean the capacity to see beyond the end of your nose and beyond the object in front you. That is to see its implications, its origins, its potential, its danger, its charm. All the things that enable one to navigate in this difficult and complex world with a modicum of wisdom, with calm, not be alarmed with every little thing that happens and with resources that in moments of stress, and after retirement, in illness, and loneliness keep one’s soul and body alive. ~ Jacque Barzun, cultural historian and education philosopher." [HT: Paideia Fellowship]

“I believe that children in this country need a more robust literary diet than they are getting... It does not hurt them to read about good and evil, love and hate, life and death. Nor do I think they should read only about things that they understand. '...a man’s reach should exceed his grasp.' So should a child’s. For myself, I will never talk down to, or draw down to, children." -- Barbara Cooney [HT: A Mighty Girl]

:: Story Warren On World Radio: Fireballs, Fables, and Allies in Imagination [audio]

:: Landscapes with Dragons and Angels: Finding the Wise Imagination in Children’s Literature by Stratford Caldecott [This is a great essay about wise discernment of fantasy literature with several examples.] 

:: Speaking the Truths Only the Imagination May Grasp: An Essay on Myth &“Real Life” by Stratford Caldecott @ Touchstone [Go read the whole article!]

Why are such tales so endlessly fascinating, so universally told? Perhaps because it is just such a journey that gives meaning to our own existence. We read or listen to the storyteller in order to orient ourselves within—to learn how to behave in order to get where we are going. Each of us knows that our life is not merely a mechanical progress from cradle to grave; it is a search, a quest, even a pilgrimage. There is some elusive goal that motivates us in our work and our play.

:: The Classical Reader [What a fantastic resource!]

“When you are choosing what books your children or students will read, the stakes are especially high. That is why we have put years of research into The Classical Reader and this companion website, collecting and analyzing the K-12 reading recommendations of classical educators from around the country and seeking those readings that have been important and pleasurable to generations of students. It is an invaluable resource for every school and homeschool family for everything from book reports to reading for pleasure.”

Good Stuff

:: Boy Who Couldn’t Afford Books Asks Mailman For Junk Mail To Read; Mailman Responds Spectacularly @ Huff Post

:: Iowa barber gives haircuts to children in exchange for them reading stories to him @ Globe Gazette

:: The Secret to Love is Just Kindness @ The Atlantic

"130 newlywed couples were invited to spend the day at this retreat and watched them as they did what couples normally do on vacation: cook, clean, listen to music, eat, chat, and hang out. And Gottman made a critical discovery in this study — one that gets at the heart of why some relationships thrive while others languish."

The Best of Mt. Hope Chronicles ~ Living Lovely

This was originally a guest post on another blog (no longer published) back in August 2009. It was the beginning of my Living. Lovely. series. 



Living Lovely

Recently, after an emotionally rough few months this past year, I became inspired and empowered to change my outlook on life. It all began with this video by Amy Krouse Rosenthal: The Beckoning of Lovely. It spoke to me loud and clear.

Lovely became my theme word for the year, and doubtless it will stay with me, even when this year is long gone.

When I looked up the meaning of lovely in the dictionary, these two definitions jumped off the page:

2. delightful for beauty, harmony, or grace
4. eliciting love by moral or ideal worth

The first definition spoke to me in two ways:

1) I need to look around me and notice the beautiful things in my life. They are very rarely big things, such as a vacation to the Bahamas. But every day, all day long (even on the rough days) there are little beautiful things in my life, if I will only take the time to see and acknowledge them.

 Sometimes lovely is so small, we have to stop what we are doing to notice it. Sometimes lovely is disguised in the quotidian, and we must step outside of our normal point of view to recognize it.

A sticky kiss from the 2 year old covered in maple syrup. A cherry tree, just beginning to bloom. A husband wrestling on the living room floor with his three sons. A phone call from a friend.

 2) I can create lovely in my life. Amy’s list is a tremendous place to start.

Make a grand entrance. Make do with what you have. Make a splash! Make it up as you go. Make out. Make a friend. Kiss and make up. Make someone's day. Make something pretty. Make music. Make peace.

The second definition was an overwhelming reminder that God has created each and every person in this world with moral and ideal worth. Do I treat my children, my husband, the grocery clerk, or the person who cut me off in traffic as if they possessed moral or ideal worth? Do I make them feel lovely? How can I project God’s love and grace to those I come in contact with throughout my day, or even in my thoughts as I go through life?

Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." ~Mathew 22:37-40

With God’s help, we all have the power to live lovely in our own lives. It doesn't matter how old you are, your gender, your financial bracket, or your political party. You don't need to be artistic or have a green thumb. You don't need 10 extra hours in your day. It doesn't matter if you are a stay-at-home mom, have a thriving career, or feel down-and-out. It isn't about perfection. It doesn't matter if your home is 8,000 square feet or 800.

Every one of us can make something.

We can make the most of our time here.
 

Finally, brothers, whatever is true,

whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable

—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—

think about such things.

~Philippians 4:8

What a Steal!

Mandi at Life Your Way is offering an incredible deal for the next few days! Read what she has to say about this fabulous bundle:

We are just 11-12 weeks away from welcoming Baby Lucas to our family, and almost every day Sean and I look at each other and go, "We're going to have SIX kids!" You'd think that would have sunk in by now, but it still feels like the surprise that it was when we got the positive pregnancy test!

And it also feels like it's coming way too fast!

Because we truly believe that every life is worth celebrating—even Baby #6, even when it's a surprise—we want to celebrate by offering you an amazing deal on Life Your Way products, this week only.

Between now and August 14th, we're celebrating baby #6 by offering you all 6 of our most popular products for just $6 for the set!

To put that into perspective, the Life Your Way Complete Printable Pack is already a steal of a deal at its regular price of $7. But this week only, you'll get all 400+ of those printables PLUS...

▪ Easy Homemade: Homemade Pantry Staples for the Busy Modern Family ($5.99), with more than 80 simple recipes to help you make the pantry staples you use most often.

▪ 101 Days of Christmas ($3.99), featuring 101+ of my favorite Christmas projects from the early years of the 101 Days of Christmas series, including recipes, crafts and traditions.

▪ 101 MORE Days of Christmas ($3.99), with even more recipes, crafts and activities to help you celebrate!

▪ How to Have Your Cake and Eat It, Too ($4.99), my very first ebook with tips and encouragement for pursuing your personal passions and business ideas while juggling a family and home.

▪ You Can Do It, Too! + A Peek Into Our Homeschool ($4.99), with encouragement and real-life stories from other homeschool families.

The total package would cost $31 separately, but right now you can get it for just $6.Hurry, though, because this offer is only available through the 14th, and you'll never see them at this price again!

Click here to learn more!

[I had the privilege of being one of the contributors to the You Can Do It, Too! eBook!]

The LIVE :: Creating a life you love eCourse has been an exciting adventure this year, as well. Each month we have been exploring a different theme—Simplify, Love, Community, Focus, Rest, Explore, and Know Yourself. This month we are learning how to Disconnect.

Mandi says:

“As I’ve reclaimed my own life, I’ve heard from so many other women who are overwhelmed, stressed and just surviving rather than thriving and loving their life, and the Live course was born out of my passion for encouraging other women to live life intentionally.

“Because this simple, four-letter word continues to impact my life, I’m excited to share what I’ve learned as well as encouragement and practical resources from other bloggers you know and love!

“The Live course is a 12-month journey to a life you love. You’ll start by identifying your values and priorities and then work through each of the 12 modules, one month at a time, to focus on each topic and really dig into what it looks like in your life.”

I’m excited to be leading the theme “Learn” for September! Join us as we explore what it means to “Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it!”

Click here to learn more about the eCourse and meet the contributors!

[The year is on a rolling schedule. If you register now, you’ll begin with the theme for August and proceed through all the months. You won’t miss out on anything!]

The Question, 5 Common Topics, and a Discussion

On a Saturday morning once a month, a group of women gather over coffee and treats in order to encourage each other, to share and discuss ideas, and to learn and grow as teachers and mothers.

Last year, we worked our way through The Core: Teaching Your Child the Foundations of Classical Education one chapter at a time, spending a whole morning on each chapter/subject. This year, we are working our way through The Question: Teaching Your Child the Essentials of Classical Education, the second book in the set (eventually a trilogy corresponding to the three arts and stages of the Trivium) by Leigh Bortins.

In The Question, Bortins introduces the chief tool of the dialectic or logic stage: the question. Not only is the question the greatest tool we possess for the skill of thinking, but we are given specific questions that make a whole, integrated curriculum completely accessible. These questions foster an independence in education because they apply to any idea in any realm of endeavor, and they can be used by anyone to think deeply about a subject.

These power questions are part of Aristotle’s Five Common Topics of Invention: definition, comparison, relationship, circumstance, and testimony. This is a systematic approach to thinking, essentially structured brainstorming. The topics of invention open up discussion like nothing else I’ve ever experienced.

After we read through and discussed the chapter on the subject of reading, our fearless facilitator suggested we spend another morning practicing what we had learned by using the questions to discuss a piece of literature. What resulted was a serious conversation about a single picture book. Eight of us, and we could have talked for another hour or two or more.

Our facilitator, my lovely friend Mindy Pickens, began by reading Chanticleer and the Fox aloud.

The story is an adaptation of the “Nun’s Priest’s Tale” from Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales and is illustrated by Barbara Cooney (one of my favorite author-illustrators). It won the Caldecott Medal in 1959.

::

Once we had listened to the story, we established a basic idea of the plot and characters by asking the “Who-What-How-What” questions as outlined by Courtney Sanford on page 68 of The Question.

(Who? establishes the characters. What? establishes the conflict or problem and the rising action of the plot. How? establishes resolution, or the climax and denouement of the plot. The second What? establishes the theme or moral of the story.)

Characters: poor widow, two daughters, farm animals, Chanticleer the rooster and his seven hens (including his favorite, Demoiselle Partlet), and the fox.

Conflict and Rising Action: Chanticleer has a foreboding dream, Demoiselle Partlet calls him a coward, the fox compliments his singing so that he will expose his neck, and the fox grabs him by the throat and carries him to the woods. The rooster needs to escape the fox’s hold or he will be eaten.

Resolution: Chanticleer turns the tables on the fox and suggests he give a speech to the widow and farm animals who have followed in distress. When he opens his mouth to give the speech, the rooster escapes. The fox tries to trick the rooster once more, but Chanticleer has learned his lesson.

Theme/moral: Chanticleer declares, “Never again shall you with your flattery get me to sing with my eyes closed. For he who closes his eyes when he should watch, God let him never prosper.” The fox replies, “No, but God bring misfortune to him who is so careless about his self-control as to prattle when he should hold his peace.” The widow says, “See, that is the result of trusting in flattery.”

::

It was then time to dive head-first into the Five Common Topics.

I’ll share some notes I made from that discussion. Obviously, I cannot reproduce our complete discussion, even though I wish that I could!

Definition

Our facilitator asked us to define the word flattery.

Complimenting with the intent to manipulate (something in it for the one who is doing the complimenting).

Does it have to be manipulative? Is there always a negative connotation?

(How about in the passive? I’m flattered, but… It is often used when turning down a request, so obviously the person giving praise wanted something, but not necessarily manipulative. Or the person asked felt it was excessive praise simply to be asked. Maybe the person turning down request is saying that they are not worthy of the praise by way of thanks and gently letting down the person who made a request?)

In what other contexts have we heard the word flattery? How is it used in the Bible? Always negatively?

Excessive praise.

Can play to someone’s best “features” or something they are self-conscious about.

What broad category does flattery fall under?

Lie? Not always. Can be true or not.

(What if someone praises someone for the other person’s benefit? Not flattery. Encouragement? Can that praise be true or untrue? Is untrue or excessive praise encouraging if it is given for honorable reasons? It might be more damaging in the long-run. Seems insincere. Should find true things to say in order to encourage.)

Manipulation.

How else can one manipulate? What are other divisions of that category?

Fear, guilt, pity.

What is one using against another when they flatter? Pride.

Broad category: Manipulation. Types: Fear, Guilt, Pity, Pride  (Vices?)

How are they different?

Pity tells something about the person doing the manipulation. Pride tells something about the person being manipulated.

Was the flattery to the rooster and the fox the same? Were they appealing to the same kind of pride?

One appealed to vanity, one to cunning/power.

[Definition can be applied to any word, character, or idea in a story, so this discussion could continue for hours.]

Comparison

Let’s compare the widow and Demoiselle Partlet.

How are they the same?

Female, are or have been married (with children?), and are productive. The hen is “polite, discreet, and companionable,” and the widow seems to be as well. They live on the same farm.

How are they different?

The widow is a woman. She is simple, careful, capable. Even her name (widow) is simple. She takes care of herself and her farm (so she is master over the hen). Her husband died.

Demoiselle Partlet is a hen. She is “debonair.” She has a fancy French name. She has to be led to the grain. She is one of seven wives.

[Comparison can be made between any two things (characters, events, ideas, objects) in the story or between something in the story and something outside of it. For instance, one could compare Chanticleer with another animal character in a different story. Or compare a character’s experience to one’s own. They don’t even have to be two similar things.]

Relationship

What caused Chanticleer’s predicament?

His wife wounded his pride and called him a coward when he opened up and shared his dream and fears with her.

(Flattery or manipulation works best if person is wounded in that area first.)

He responded to his wife’s criticism by strutting like a prince and being fearless. He looked with pride upon his domain.

The fox flattered him by complimenting his voice and the rooster began to sing.

What were the effects of the predicament?

The whole farm was in great distress. They ran after him, frightened. “They ran so hard they thought their hearts would burst.” “It seemed that heaven would fall.”

The rooster had to be brave in spite of his fear. [Bravery, caution, and/or pride would make interesting comparisons.] He had to outwit the cunning fox. Both Chanticleer and the fox learned lessons.

Who bore responsibility?

The author says “Alas, that Chanticleer flew down from the rafters!” but doesn’t mention that he gave in to flattery. But the author also says “Alas, that his wife took no heed of dreams!” Does the author place blame on the wife?

[There are other relationship questions. We just talked about cause and effect of one event in the story.]

Circumstance

What was happening (and where) when Chanticleer was taken by the fox?

Small circle: hens watching rooster being carried off

Next circle: widow and daughters run outside and follow

Larger circle: all animals reacting (farm and countryside)

The farm is a microcosm of a community of people (rather than unrelated farm animals); one animal’s failure affected everyone.

Wide circle: Rural area. England. During Chaucer’s time (Medieval period).

(What was England’s relationship with the French at the time? What did they think of the French people? What does the hen’s French name say about her character?)

What was Chaucer’s world like?

It was a very moral, religious world (even if people didn’t follow the moral code). Chaucer’s characters present many universal “types.”

Testimony

[Aristotle divides this topic into six categories: authority, testimonial, statistics, maxims, laws, and precedents.]

Who is an authority within the book?

The author says that the book is about the widow and then proceeds to tell about the rooster and the hen. The story also says that the widow had patiently led a very simple life since the day her husband died. What was she like before? How did her husband die? Is the story something similar to what the widow had experienced? There was an odd halt in the action right after the rooster was taken. Was the story up to that point something the widow had experienced, but her experience had a different outcome? Was she speaking from the authority of experience when she said “That is the result of trusting in flattery”?

The widow is an authority because she is the matriarch of the farm. (Oddly, Chanticleer, the only patriarch on the farm, is carried off by pride.)

Both Chanticleer and the fox give their testimony when they tell what they’ve learned from the experience. (Might also be considered authority?)

In addition to the morals or proverbs listed above we have the idioms turnabout is fair play and pride comes before a fall.

Would numerous examples of people falling as a result of pride be considered precedents? (We briefly mentioned others such as Samson who was manipulated by someone appealing to his vanity.)

Would you allow this book to be an authority in your home? Would you allow it to say something about flattery to your children?

Why or why not?

::

I hope this gives you a little taste of what our rich discussion was like!

What I’m discovering is that these questions truly are the key to integrated learning.

Later that same day, I attended a phenomenal performance of Shakespeare’s King Lear. All the conflict in that tragedy stems from flattery!

In addition to this Saturday morning book club, we are also spending a year (one Thursday evening a month) reading through Hamlet and discussing it using the same questions. It is surprising how much the conversation for Hamlet is similar to the conversation for a picture book when using the common topics. At our first discussion meeting (after watching the movie together during two previous meetings) we spent time defining “Hamlet” (the play and the characters). At our next meeting, we defined “ghost.” Our discussion included talking about how we think of ghosts, what the play had to say about ghosts, as well as how Shakespeare’s culture in Elizabethan England defined and thought about ghosts, so we pulled in some circumstance there.

Levi and I are also using the common topics for our Lost Tools of Writing discussions. (More about that here and here.) Lost Tools of Writing guides students through the common topics.

EIGHT YEARS @ Mt Hope Chronicles! (And a Giveaway!)

 

Yes, it has been eight years since my very first Forever Home post in February of 2007. We had just moved into our little house in the country. Levi had just turned five. Luke was two. Leif was six months old.

Have we really come that far?

Some of you have been around for close to eight years. Many of you were here almost five years ago when I announced my pregnancy, and you have watched Lola grow up these past four years.

Thank you.

I say that sincerely.

I started this blog as a journal of our lives and our homeschooling, but it has become much more than that to me. It is community, and friendships, and encouragement. It is a place to share my writing and my photography as I grow and learn. It is a place for me to share my story.

Thank you for being my witness.

Nothing says Mt. Hope Chronicles celebration like an Amazon gift certificate giveaway, no?

So let’s do that, shall we?

I’m giving away a $50 Amazon gift certificate. Comment on this blog post for one entry, and visit the Mt. Hope Chronicles Facebook page for a second entry. Click on the Rafflecopter below to confirm your entries. The giveaway ends at midnight on February 23rd.

Giveaway is now closed!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

While we’re waiting a week to find out the giveaway winner, let’s take a stroll down memory lane. I started my blog in 2007 with the basic Blogger header and just the title of my blog. [It’s a good thing blogging itself was a novel thing at the time, because the header was boring.]

By 2008, I’d gotten so tech savvy (ha!) that I was able to add the personalized header at the beginning of this post.

My photography took off that year and in 2009 I created this header:

It was time for something fresh in the spring of 2010:

Lola appeared in the header in November of 2010:

Spring 2011 (a favorite!):

December 2011:

Fall 2012 (another favorite!):

Fall 2013:

Fall 2014:

 

And so much more to come…

Calling All Pacific-Northwesters!

 

We get a CiRCE Pacific Northwest Regional Conference!

Mark your calendars for May 8th and 9th near Seattle, then click on the above link and register.

The speaker line-up includes Andrew Kern, Sarah Mackenzie (of Amongst Lovely Things), and David Hicks (author of Norms and Nobility).

I’ll be attending, and I would love to meet up!

Will I see you there?

Food for Thought ~ The Burden of My Neighbor’s Glory

 

“It may be possible for each to think too much of his own potential glory hereafter; it is hardly possible for him to think too often or too deeply about that of his neighbor. The load, or weight, or burden of my neighbor's glory should be laid daily on my back, a load so heavy that only humility can carry it, and the backs of the proud will be broken. ...

"It is in light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit...

Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”  ~ C. S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

 

::  Have you been following this story on one of my favorite Facebook pages, Humans of New York? Brandon roams New York, taking photographs of people and letting them share small bits of their stories. And this story all begins with one boy. Now Brandon has given readers a chance to do big things for this school and these children. And we’ve met other incredible human beings involved, human beings who are daily carrying the weight of their neighbors’ glory. [This is another favorite Facebook page. Just in case you needed another encouraging and entertaining place to land while on FB.]

::  How Children Learn: Portraits of Classrooms Around the World @ Brain Pickings. Speaking of students in other learning environments… [I love these portraits, as well as the other series by the same photographer.]

::  McKenzie is my own little neighbor. Her mom is a friend of mine, and I’ve been following her story since the day she went into the hospital just before Christmas and her 7th birthday. She and her family have a long, hard road in front of them. Please keep them in your prayers!

::  The Likely Cause of Addiction Has Been Discovered, and It Is Not What You Think @ Huff Post. [This article is fascinating, but it’s also a call to all of us to pay attention to the lonely and isolated around us.]

This isn't only relevant to the addicts I love. It is relevant to all of us, because it forces us to think differently about ourselves. Human beings are bonding animals. We need to connect and love. The wisest sentence of the twentieth century was E.M. Forster's -- "only connect." But we have created an environment and a culture that cut us off from connection, or offer only the parody of it offered by the Internet. The rise of addiction is a symptom of a deeper sickness in the way we live -- constantly directing our gaze towards the next shiny object we should buy, rather than the human beings all around us.

::  New Research Discovers That Depression Is An Allergic Reaction To Inflammation @ Feel Guide. Speaking of your neighbor struggling with loneliness… It is likely you have neighbors with depression as well. Be kind.

 

Take the time to love and encourage the people who cross your path as you go about your week.

 

Have a great one, friends!