Vulnerability and Part 1 of “The Menagerie” by Levi

I’m going to be vulnerable with you for a few minutes:

It’s been a rough year with my oldest.

Personality clashes, hormone flares, emotional meltdowns, character issues. Probably pretty equally on both our parts.

Have I mentioned that raising adolescents can be tough?

I asked him if I could share that, and he said I could.

And I say this to let you know that we’re human, with human struggles.

The decisions are endless, and seem to have no easy answers. I hinted about the quandary in this post. How much do we expect our “square peg” children to fit in a round hole? When is it a character or training issue and when should we change our expectations?

I don’t know.

I’m reminded of this article about the best-selling teenage author Christopher Paolini. In the article, his mother talks about his education saying, “Little did I know that when Christopher was daydreaming out the window—and not finishing his math problems—he was dreaming of battling evil sorcerers and flying on dragons, dreams that would form the basis of his first book, Eragon.”

Well, exactly.

I’m not saying I have the next Christopher Paolini on my hands, not at all, but what do you do when your child would rather be thinking or writing about dragons than finishing his math? What do you do when it is a great struggle for him to bend his brain to focus on math? Even if he has the reward of free time at the end of it?

She does say in the very next paragraph: “Sometimes our children balked at lessons and we had a clash of wills. At those crucial points, Kenneth and I gave our children a choice: we told them that by law they had to attend school, but it was their decision where they would do this. They could do the assigned homeschool lessons or Dad would drive them to the local school, where they would do the work those teachers assigned. Ultimately, they always chose to homeschool, but not without a grumble here and there.”

And so we press on, but not without a grumble here and there. [wry grin] And I try to remember that learning to read was a painful process to go through with Levi, but now he can read 1,000 pages a day. So there’s that.

Maybe it is that I fear the regrets of hindsight, and I don’t want to destroy our relationship.

But I can’t live in fear. At some point I have to walk in faith here.

Levi has asked that I share with you all the very rough draft of the beginning of the story he is writing, and I told him that I would be glad to. So this is in part a preface.

Keep in mind that writing assignments are painfully completed (or not, as the case may be) by this son. Painful execution. Painful style. IEW was a battle. Even the creative assignments.

But when he is supposed to be completing a math assignment?

Magic.

Following is the first installment. I’ve edited his random capitalization and punctuation and reformatted the paragraphs. All other content is his spontaneous creativity.

Copyright 2015 by Levi Scovel

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The Menagerie

A Chronicle of the Apprenticeship and Adulthood of a Young Ranger

Chapter One

Selection

It was a dark and stormy night, a night to stay indoors, a night of fear and woe, yet there was a young man out in the blackness, struggling against the wind and snow. His name was Canth; he was the new apprentice in the Menagerie, the place where Her Majesty's royal trackers and scouts were trained.

He had been told it was a honor for him, a castle ward, to be selected for such a prestigious apprenticeship. The selection had taken place on a fair morning. He had been roused from sleep and instructed to change into a brown and green tunic and elegant but sturdy brown pants, and to venture to the Apprenticeship Hall. He had stood in line, shortest to tallest; being the tallest ward he was the last. Then he listened to all the wards receive their apprenticeships.

The first was a young girl who was very lively and fast. "Rhuinnion Green?" questioned the Chancellor.

"Yes, my lord?"

"Have you a wish to be apprenticed to a certain master or mistress?" the Chancellor asked Rhuinnion.

"My lord, I wish to be apprenticed in the courtier class," she announced with a curtsey.

"That is a fine choice," the Chancellor cried! "What say you Ariana?"

"I have seen all I would wish in a Courtier! She is polite and could outpace a centaur!" Ariana replied courteously.

"Ah, Young Tucker is next, do I speak rightly young sir?" The Chancellor requested that Tucker step forward.

"My lord, I am Tucker Nightengale."

"Ah, so I spoke rightly. Well young man, have you a request as to your apprenticeship?"

"Why, yes I do, my lord," Tucker proclaimed somewhat quietly. "My request is to be in the Mage Archen!" he happily announced.

"Well, my boy, may you be delighted to learn that Cobalion of the Mages Archen accepts you!" announced the Mage. "Tis such a rare thing when a boy shows so much talent for Ice that we will accept them if they but ask!" Cobalion pronounced. Tucker blushed. "I have seen him summon an eagle of flawless pure turquoise Ice that can mentally communicate and fly better than a natural bird! This boy will learn many secrets and may succeed me as the Master of the Mages Archen!

“I now will announce a grand thing! I am decided to adopt Tucker as my son and heir! Chancellor, do I have your acceptance of this?"

The Chancellor replied wisely, "You have my Acceptance for this is a thing of wonder, but I must warn you that Tucker must accept your offer as well, or his magical power may be lessened by shock!"

"Tucker?" queried Cobalion.

"Yes, I will accept your offers. I accept both of them!" Tucker cried, and he walked from the room with Cobalion following.

Cobalion returned presently with Tucker beside him in his new Apprentice of the Archen robes. More apprenticeships were confirmed. Some were what the teens had hoped for, others were not, but equally accepted by the teen who had been given a different apprenticeship.

After the last of the ten young wards had received their apprenticeships, it was Canth's turn. He asked if he could become a swordsman. He was turned down; Baron Egan was not accepting apprenticeships now, for he had already received three this morn. Horse school was close to sword school, but they had filled their ranks with new apprentices previously and would not take another. Everywhere he turned there was only despair. Finally he asked if he might join the Rangers. This was the place. He was received! He could not believe his fortune. The only discomfort was that he knew that he would not be training nearby. Sadly he must venture north to the Hold of Gorain, where there was a magical gate that would send him to his training place. He had spent the last thirteen years in the royal castle of the newly crowned Queen Simylene, and rued that he had had to leave the beauteous palace.

Canth’s recent memory faded and he returned to the present. Smurph, smurph in the snow went his boots as he stumbled into the hold from which he would depart to his place of training.

[To be continued…]

I’m Not Going to Lie ~ Some Days are Rough

I was waiting for something eloquent and profound to come to me, words of wisdom to share with the masses. But honestly? I don’t have it in me today.

Because some days are simply hard.

Like when you’ve been sick for more than two weeks with a nasty lingering cough, and you should be on the mend, and instead you spend 10 hours in the fetal position on the couch, your very hair follicles hurting, until you slowly shuffle to bed at 8 pm. That day, after 15 pretty good days of eating Paleo, you eat nothing but a couple Ritz crackers and a slice of marionberry pie. And the house painters finally return to your house to begin finishing up after months of a half-painted house, just when you had decided you didn’t care [twitch] about the caulk marks on the paint right by your front door, and the boys start fighting next to that fresh paint, get it on their hands and coat, and now you have gray paint smudges on your white bathroom door instead of white smudges on the gray paint by your front door.

Or the next day, when you are able to stand up long enough to take a shower, you think “today’s going to be better.” Until your son tells you he has swept the kitchen floor and it still looks like it hasn’t been swept for weeks. Or another son tells you he has cleaned his room, and what that really means is that he took a couple weeks of clean laundry that never got put away and put it back in the dirty laundry basket which is overflowing because you haven’t done it for two days. Or you think to yourself, “Hallelujah, Lola is actually playing quietly and independently for a few minutes,” even though you know, you KNOW this is never EVER a good thing. No matter how awful it is when she won’t play independently, it is infinitely worse when she does. Because that means she shaves off her eyebrows, completely. Or cuts her tongue and wipes the blood all over her shirt and your towels. Or chops off her hair. Or dumps cups full of water in her room. Or bottles full of soap. Or, this day, covers many, many surfaces with bright pink nail polish—herself, her bed, her clothes, her beloved kitty, and her carpet.

I’m going back to bed.

Contemplation, Conversation, and the ANI Chart ~ Part 2

Or “Lost Tools of Writing, the ‘How to Talk with Your Teenager’ Program, Continued”

[Read Part 1 here.]

I had to ask Levi not to give me immediate answers (usually “I don’t know!”)—I wasn’t expecting immediate “right” answers. I wanted him to think about each question or idea for a little bit. There would be no “points” detracted for not knowing, and we’d talk it through if he really couldn’t come up with something; we’d ask more questions until we did think of something!

[Keep in mind, the affirmative or negative reasons don’t need to be “good” reasons. We all have reasons for doing something that turn out to be bad reasons, but they are still compelling reasons for us at the time! We’re exploring all reasons in the ANI chart phase. The judgment comes later.]

:: The first topic of invention is definition.

We’ll start with the basics. What is Colin’s father?

He’s a man.

What is a man? Wait. Do you know what objective and subjective mean?

I think so, but I can’t remember which is which.

Well, think of objective like an object. You can give facts about an object, such as its weight or substance or color, that most people wouldn’t argue about. You can touch it; it’s concrete. Think of subjective as an idea that is subject to someone’s opinion or interpretation.

So what are some objective definitions of a man?

A man is a male human who has gone through the biological changes of puberty. In our culture, every 18 year old male can vote, be drafted for military service, get married, or go to jail; every 21 year old (and older) male can purchase alcohol and is considered a fully legal adult. In some cultures, boys become men when they go through initiation ceremonies. Those are all facts.

What are some subjective definitions of a man?

A man is brave. A man is adventurous. A man respects women. A man honors his country and family. A man faces his duties. A man provides for his family.

Do any of those definitions tell you whether Colin’s father should have stayed away?

He shouldn’t have stayed away, because he needed to be brave, and he needed to face his duties to his family. He should have stayed away, because his duties were business and traveling.

What else is Colin’s father?

He’s a father.

What are some objective definitions of a father?

A man who has a biological child or a man who has legally adopted a child.

What are some subjective definitions of a father?

A man who considers the needs of his children and provides for them and loves them.

What are some objective needs of a child?

Water, sleep, food, shelter, protection.

What are some subjective needs of a child?

Books!

Do all children need books? Did they need books in 400 BC? Do they need books in remote tribes in Africa? How about education? Does a mother polar bear educate her cub? Is this necessary for survival?

Maybe some education is an objective need. [A universal definition of education might be the knowledge and skills a human needs to survive independently. Our own cultural definition of objective education might be the ability to read, write, and understand basic math.]

How about attention, nurturing, and love? Are those objective or subjective? How about entertainment and possessions? Is pizza food or entertainment? How about birthday cake?…

Colin’s father should have stayed away because he made sure he had provided for Colin’s objective needs and hired someone to take care of him, but he should not have stayed away because Colin needed his father’s love and attention.

[What else is Colin’s father? An uncle. A widower. A rich man. A physically weak man. An Englishman… He should have stayed away because he was grieving and sick... Really, simply discussing the definition of one “term” of the issue could take hours.]

What is Colin?

A boy. A sickly, spoiled, lonely, confined boy who can’t walk but doesn’t have a hunchback and whose mother has died.

We talked about the basic needs of a child, but what were some of his needs specifically?

Colin’s father should not have stayed away because Colin needed a father’s discipline, a parent’s love and attention, and someone to model how one should face difficulties and embrace life. Colin’s father should have stayed away because Colin was unpleasant and reminded him of his dead wife.

:: The second topic of invention is comparison.

How is Colin’s father similar to Mary’s father? How are they different?

[Going back to the text to re-read how Mary’s father was described…]

They were both sickly and busy men and fathers. They were both rich and hired someone else to take care of their children. His father was a widower, but her father was not.

How is Colin’s father similar to Dickon? How are they different?

They are both male. Their homes are in the same part of England. Colin’s father is a man, but Dickon is only a boy. Colin’s father is rich and absent, Dickon is poor and nurturing.

Oh, rich and poor! Are there different cultural expectations for a rich father and a poor father?…

[How is Colin’s father similar to or different from Mrs. Medlock? A horse? A rock? Grief? How is Colin similar to or different from Mary? Dickon? You?]

:: The third topic of invention is circumstance.

When and where did the issue take place?

Misselthwaite Manor, Yorkshire, England around 1900. Colin’s father traveled all over Europe instead of being at home.

[Oh, what were the cultural expectations of a rich father in England in 1900?]

What was happening in the place with which the question is concerned?

Colin’s father left the manor and traveled all over Europe. He was grief-stricken and miserable. Colin became sickly and spoiled. Mary came to live at the Manor. The garden was revived and Colin learned to walk. (Colin’s father should not have stayed away so that he could care for his niece, experience the revival of the garden, and find that happiness was to be found at home.)

What was happening elsewhere?

Great Britain was ruling India. (He should have stayed away because Englishmen were supposed to be adventurous.)

[Teddy Roosevelt, the Wright Brothers, and the Ford Motor Company were happing in the U.S. around 1900.]

[This is probably the moment Levi looked at the clock and said, “Mom, our time’s up.” I told him there is no scheduled time limit. We’re going to talk as long as we are enjoying the conversation and we have something to talk about or we come to a natural stopping place.]

:: The fourth topic of invention is relationship.

What happened immediately before the time of the issue?

Colin’s mother died. (He should have stayed away because he was grieving. He should have stayed away because Colin reminded him of his dead wife.) The garden was shut. (He should have stayed away because the garden held bad memories for him.)

What happened immediately afterward?

When he returned home to the garden, everyone was happy. (He should not have stayed away because his home, family, and garden are what would bring him true happiness.)

[What are the objective and subjective definitions of home?]

[This is where questions about cause and effect fit in, as well.]

:: The fifth topic of invention is authority.

What is the difference between a witness and an expert?

Who is a witness to the issue within the story? What did they have to say about the issue? How reliable is their testimony? Are there additional witnesses?

Who is an expert about the issue within the story? What is his opinion? What is the source of his opinion? Is he reliable?

[This led to an interesting conversation about Dr. Craven. Was he Archibald Craven’s brother? Is he considered an expert when he didn’t seem to do Colin much good and he let his own interests interfere with his responsibility to treat Colin?]

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I didn’t share our whole conversation, just a small sample. If we had been diligent about doing Lost Tools together the past couple weeks we would have had more time to delve into each topic (a whole week to discuss the 5 common topics rather than a single day). So much more could have been discussed! It was my own fault. Obviously, definition alone could take hours if we wanted it to, starting with just one issue and two terms to define!

We worked through the topics orally and only made notes on our ANI chart.

As we compared our A column with our N column, we noticed that the majority of our column A had to do with immediate comfort or convenience and the majority of our column N had to do with facing a difficult task and reaping delayed rewards.

We can say that the answer to this issue is obvious.

But do we make bad decisions for the wrong reasons, convincing ourselves that our actions are justified? Yep.

Do we make poor decisions even when we know we should have done the opposite? Yep.

People,

I had a leisurely conversation with my 13 year old son about what it is to be a man, to be a father. The objective and subjective needs of children. The definition of education. How cultural expectations change the way we see our roles in life. That it is better to make decisions based on long term rewards rather than immediate comfort.

He would search for information in the text and read aloud interesting passages. Or I would read a passage to him.

This, THIS is what my 13 year old needed.

Contemplation: big ideas and disciplined, structured, deep thinking.

Conversation: big ideas and disciplined, structured, deep thinking—together.

Relationship: relaxed, one-on-one, verbal, no “right answers,” no “hurry up, we’re behind,” no lecturing, no frustrated interaction with another human being.

He is firmly in the dialectic/logic stage of development and of his education, and these questions are my tools to meet him where he is as a student and a human being.

It’s what I needed.

A reminder that education is not about a check list or a product or a schedule. That slowing down to think and connect is education. That playing with ideas is education.

A chance to connect with my son in a joyful, fascinating discussion, without frustration and unmet expectations.

If that’s all we do in a day, it is a day well-spent.

If I dropped every subject but one, we’d keep literature and The Lost Tools of Writing—even if we never got past the ANI chart and the 5 topics of invention. (We’d probably continue to do an hour of math each day, as well. But we’d ask questions about numbers!)

This is the dialectic stage of education, and I need to remember that my main teaching tool is a good question, and conversation is a relational activity. The goal of this stage is to begin thinking well. The papers the students write now (in Challenge A, at the beginning of Lost Tools), after the deep thinking, are very simply the pruned, organized thoughts. I don’t want Levi (and myself) to become distracted by an expectation of eloquent writing. The elocution will come slowly, one carefully implemented trope or scheme at a time, as Levi moves into the expressive rhetoric stage in the following years.

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If you are interested in exploring the dialectic stage of development and education as well as the 5 common topics of invention, I highly recommend The Question by Leigh Bortins. She explains each topic and shows how to use the questions across all subjects.

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[Next up: Our Basic Persuasive Essay Outline with Exordium and Amplification]

Contemplation, Conversation, and the ANI Chart ~ Part 1

Or “Lost Tools of Writing, the ‘How to Talk with Your Teenager’ Program”

After Levi expressed his frustration over his Lost Tools of Writing assignments, I promised him that we’ll do that subject together, every day, first thing in the morning.

We had our community day for Challenge A on Monday, but Tuesday morning he remembered. “Mom, you said you would do Lost Tools with me, first thing.”

I told him to bring his papers to the kitchen table and we’d sit down together while I ate my breakfast and drank my tea, leisurely*. (I often eat standing up because, you know, hurry, hurry, hurry. And hello, Whole30, because I didn’t have enough on my plate—ha!—and I’m modeling doing hard things.)

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“Christian education is the cultivation of wisdom and virtue by nourishing the soul on truth, goodness, and beauty by means of the seven liberal arts and the four sciences so that, in Christ, the student is enabled to better know, glorify, and enjoy God.” [CiRCE]

A liberal education is not for the purpose of productivity but for the purpose of making minds free.

I can believe that with every cell of my body. But I am also human. And a mother who has a lot on her plate. And I’m lazy. And impatient.

I like either having nothing to do, or doing something quickly and having something to show for the work.

 

But this educating our children and ourselves, it is not easy, and it is not a sprint. It is a marathon, a life-long labor of love.

In our rush for output, we skip the difficult, nonquantifiable but essential step of contemplation and hurry along the quantifiable products of filled-in blanks on a worksheet or, count them, 30 items in each column of the ANI chart. We succumb to the pressures of schedule- and productivity-based educational goals.

I had been using the Lost Tools of Writing as a worksheet and writing program, but I was wrong.

The Lost Tools of Writing is a program that teaches students how to think.

I KNEW this. But I had forgotten.

The problem with thinking, or contemplation, is that it takes time and a willingness to set aside time-limits, to set aside the to-do list, to set aside the expectation of a product, to set aside all the trivial distractions in our physical space and in our minds. And, for those of us (me) not accustomed to focused, structured contemplation, it is difficult.

If it is difficult for us as adults, how much more difficult must it be for a thirteen-year-old boy?! And if we cannot spare the time and energy to model the process and value of contemplation, how will our children and students learn; will they believe us when we say it is important?

The Lost Tools of Writing is also the opportunity to talk about big, formational ideas with an adolescent—indirectly (not about their own decisions), without lecturing or moralizing. It is the opportunity to educate relationally.

It’s the “How to Talk with Your Teenager” program. And it’s GOLD.

This is what I discovered yesterday morning, during a two-hour un-rushed conversation, while we enjoyed each other’s company and ideas. True leisure.

*“At the heart of any culture worthy of the name is not work but leisure, schole in Greek, a word that lies at the root of the English word ‘school.’ At its highest, leisure is contemplation. It is an activity that is its own justification, the pure expression of what it is to be human…” ~ Stratford Caldecott, Beauty for Truth's Sake

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I began by sharing with Levi the benefit of creating an issue and an ANI chart (more about those in a minute for those of you not familiar with Lost Tools).

We contribute ideas to an ANI chart using the five common topics of invention in order to:

1. Think about and understand a story more deeply, and return to the text to remember more details.

2. Think about and know a character more deeply.

3. Think about and understand human nature more deeply, which should make us more empathetic.

4. Think about and understand ourselves, our nature, and our own decisions more deeply.

5. Practice making better decisions, and learn to use an ANI chart when faced with big decisions.

6. Learn to study the other side of arguments for clearer (unbiased) thinking, reasoning, and debating (which will be particularly helpful for policy debate in Challenge I).

 

With Lost Tools of Writing, the student chooses a “should question,” which he then turns into an issue on which he writes a persuasive essay.

In Classical Conversations Challenge A, students have assigned books to read (10 books in 30 weeks) from which they pull their issue. This month (the first weeks of the second semester), students read The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.

Levi asked the question “Should Colin’s father have stayed away from him purposely?” This question becomes the issue “whether Colin’s father should have stayed away from him purposely.”

Students then create an ANI chart—one column for A (affirmative reasons), N (negative reasons), and I (interesting statements or questions about the story that do not seem to fit in column A or N).

This is often when the instinctive, impulsive “of course he shouldn’t have” or “I don’t know” statements begin. Or the tedious torture of wringing blood from a rock and finding 30 reasons to place in each column.

But, BUT, the student is given TOOLS, and those tools are called the 5 Topics of Invention, which is the first cannon of Rhetoric. Essentially, they are five categories of questions to ask (about anything!) to help a person think—structured brainstorming, really.

These tools can help eliminate the spontaneous reactions (of course he shouldn’t have done it) and the empty head (I don’t know, I have no idea, where do I even start). They are tools of inquiry to gather an inventory of facts and ideas. They promote focused, organized, interactive thinking. They are conversational.

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[Next post: Our Conversation]

Restart

 

I messed up.

Levi and I started out his school year together. We did most of his Classical Conversations Challenge A lessons together for the first few weeks. I made sure his schedule and to-do list was written out and checked daily.

And then we both got distracted.

Other children do live at this house. And they need attention and education occasionally. I have things I need to do. And teaching an adolescent can be frustrating. So procrastination happens.

Oh, he can do this independently. He should be able to do that independently. Just let him get started on math, and he’ll figure out how to complete the rest of assignments as well. If he’s going to fight me on that, he can do it on his own.

And so on. [Right about this time last semester.]

Math, well, that’s important. And don’t get behind in Latin! Draw your maps. We’ll skip the outlining in rhetoric, but read the chapters and lessons. We missed two weeks of science research for various reasons, but just jump ahead to the current topic and write your paper.

Writing, hmmm. There are worksheets. Just fill them out. Oh, we’re way behind! Let’s just rush this paper today. [Much, much more about this in the next post.]

Turns out, my adolescent procrastinates as much as I do—and the most overwhelming or hated tasks are the ones he puts off.

We “got by” for the first semester until he had three classes within 8 days in December (due to a make-up class)—the end of the semester classes, no less—the same week as his choir performance week and then a few Christmas activities the following week when he was supposed to complete his final 1st semester work.

Then Christmas. And a New Year’s birthday. And a big family vacation—a missed week of class.

We were going to start our new year well. I didn’t know how tired I would be after vacation, that two days would not be enough time to prep for Monday and I would be so sick for the next week. So tired and sick. Not a great start to our new year. [Hello, Christmas tree still on my front porch.]

If momma isn’t on top of things, the kids in this house aren’t either. It’s a free-for-all. Sigh.

We ended a rough week with two days of swim meet in which all three boys were competing and Russ, who was also sick, was coaching.

During a long late Saturday afternoon and evening of sitting with Levi trying to get some of his work caught up for class on Monday, Lola managed to cut her tongue (hello, blood on her shirt and bathroom towels), chop off her hair (hello, bangs), and dump several cups of water in her room (because she was “painting” with water). [This is the moment I expressed my frustration on Facebook: “It seems I have to make a choice between educating my 13 year old and keeping my 4 year old alive. Forget the two in between; they’ll have to fend for themselves.”]

By Sunday afternoon, we were a mess. It was time to regroup.

Levi and I had a long conversation about why he was in Challenge A, why he was required to do the work. How Latin is valuable for many reasons, but the most important reason we are doing this hard work is to learn to do hard things. That if he learns nothing else in Challenge A, this skill (and character trait) will serve him for the rest of his life. [More about doing hard things in an upcoming post.] I asked him to be willing to try. To do his best. And I told him that right answers or being smart was not the most important thing.

I asked Levi what I could do to help him succeed.

He asked me to be diligent about filling out his schedule with exactly what needed to be completed each day. I made a commitment to him to do just that. In return, I asked him to look at the schedule, and do his best to focus on the work on the day’s list.

Then I asked him what subject he was struggling most in. “The Lost Tools of Writing” (he said with anguish). “I hate it. I hate writing. I can’t do it.” Then we’ll do that subject together, every day, first thing in the morning, I promised him…

[To be continued…]